Why Porn is Making You Dumb

Sixteen reasons...

1. It makes you relationally dysfunctional. It drives you inward into an alternate reality in which you can experience pleasure “with” other people without really knowing them at all. You don’t need to talk to the woman you’re lusting over. She’ll never make fun of you, reject you, or even challenge your opinion. She doesn't even need you to brush your teeth, change your clothes, shave, or be polite. It’s your world, and it’s full of people who are way less maintenance than the ones you meet in real life.
2. It makes you a liar. Why were you so late for this morning’s meeting? Why can’t you stay awake in church? Why are there these weird charges on the credit card bill this month? Why is our computer acting up? How come you never want to seem to have sex anymore? Any man or woman who has wrestled with pornography – married or unmarried – has had to come up with quick, convincing responses (i.e., lies) to calm the concern behind questions like these. Porn makes you a skilled liar. 
3. It eats up time that should be spent doing more productive things. Like thinking. Like talking to someone. Like reading something. Like praying. Like thinking. Just because it’s late at night doesn't mean there won’t be an impact on your other responsibilities. The time you spend looking at porn will come from somewhere. 
4. It makes you paranoid. You constantly have to cover your tracks. You’re constantly deleting the history on your internet browser. You’re constantly wondering whether you might have forgotten to delete it, for fear that someone might accidentally find it, and you’ll be exposed. 
5. It keeps you from being able to appreciate real beauty in the world. Porn thrives on a utilitarian approach to the female body. The porn star isn't there to be known; she offers herself for your use. And if that’s what gets you really excited, you’ll never be in awe of a glorious sunrise, or majestic mountains, or the real beauty of a woman’s godly character. You’ll see these and know that you should be more impressed with them than you are, but you’re unable to appreciate them because you don’t know what purpose they serve. Mountains, sunrises, storms, etc., aren’t useful. Not in the way that a picture of a hot woman is useful. 
6. It lies to you about what women want. Like these women you’re staring at actually give a rip about you. Like they’re glad you’re back. They’re not. They don’t want you. They want money. They want drugs so that they don’t have to reckon with life. They want to forget what was done to them when they were little. They want to matter to someone– and if taking off their clothes is what makes them feel important, then that’s what they’ll do. They want to forget that somewhere out there is a daddy whose heart is breaking because of the choices his daughter is making with her life. And you’re the reason she’s doing it. 
7. It makes you think that it’s a victimless crime. Like the fact that you’re more excited about masturbating to images of women you've never met is okay with your wife, for whose sake you once vowed to forsake all others. Ask your wife if she’s okay with being your second choice for sexual fulfillment. 
8. It grows and grows and never lets go. The more you see, the more you want to see. The more risque it becomes. The more hard core it’ll have to be in order to interest you, until you’re disgusted with yourself for a) enjoying it, and b) not being able to stop. 
9. It’s costing many guys their jobs, and the risk of being fired doesn't seem to deter them. They actually believe they’ll never be caught. The truth is, most organizations monitor bandwidth usage, and if you’re looking at porn, your boss already knows it. They probably have a file. 
10. It’ll cost many guys their marriages and families, but they won’t believe that until it’s too late. 
11. It’ll send people to hell. Jesus said so: “But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell! (Matt.5:28-30 CSB) 
12. In the life of a Christian, the struggle with pornography – though a sin – is a defeated sin, and yet it has Christian men and women living like slaves. 
13. It renders you useless for ministry. It's not because God refuses to use you, but because your overwhelming guilt keeps you sitting on the sidelines. 
14. It makes us protect it – because even though God has promised an abundant life apart from this sin, to experience that life requires us to really repent – all the way – of this sin. For a lot of guys, letting go of their ‘precious’ is like letting go of their identity. Without this ongoing struggle, they wouldn't know who they are anymore, and that’s scary. 
15. It makes us fear the wrong thing. Like for this sin to be exposed would be the worst thing in the world. It wouldn't. For it never to come to light would be far worse, because it’d be a sign that God has given you over to it. In other words, confess it to someone you respect, and whom you trust to be able to guide you toward Gospel-centered recovery. 
16. It leads you to believe that God is either a) as dumb as you, or b) indifferent toward your sin. Wrong on both counts. You can lie to your friends, and your wife, and your pastor, and your family, and your church, but you cannot lie to God. And if you are lying to God about this – running from Him, rather than seeking His help to repent – then you’re probably lying to everyone else anyway. God is not mocked. You won’t be able to go on like this forever. It’s going to catch up with you. Either you’ll be found out, or you’ll get so sick of the shame that you refuse to give up, that you’ll seek to be free of it by giving up on God altogether.

Confess this sin to God. Believe that it’s forgiven. It is. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1John 1:9 CSB). On the one hand, this battle is really simple, because porn’s power over you comes from the guilt and shame and fear it stirs up – and all of that was taken care of on the cross, where God “…made the One who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2Cor. 5:21 CSB), and  “…our old self was crucified with Him in order that sin's dominion over the body may be abolished, so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin” (Rom. 6:6 CSB)

If you have it in you to repent, do so. Look what this thing is doing to you – do you like being porn’s idiot? It’s making you dumb, and you must fight. I’m all for practical suggestions and setting boundaries for ourselves. I have many of my own. But none of those will make the temptation go away. The problem isn’t “out there” somewhere. It’s in me. It’s in you. It’s not going to go away easily. It’s a fight.  

Do you think you’re the only one who’s ever struggled with sexual temptation? You’re not. God promised, through the Apostle, that “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful, and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape so that you are able to bear it.” (1Cor. 10:13 CSB) So guess what? The good news about your lust problem is that you’re not special. You’re not beyond the reach of God’s grace. In this area, you’re not unique. It doesn’t have to be this way; there’s another way out. That’s a promise.