Open or Closed Groups?

So one of the recurring issues in church small groups ministry involves what happens when bringing new people into an existing group - one where the members already have lots of history and life

The healthiest groups begin as groups of people who share something about themselves in common: new to parenthood; new to retirement; newly married; new to church; new to Jesus. So the best way to bring new people into a group is to start a Newcomers' group. Some churches do that. I think it's great.

But sometimes, those new joiners looking for a group aren't new to the church - they're just (for whatever reason) unconnected. What should happen to them? In most cases, they ought to be welcome in existing groups. That can get messy. When groups are encouraged to welcome new members, the pushback is, "How can we go deep if new people are coming in all the time?" It's a very good question - when a group has been together a while and it's working, the thought of introducing new people into that group can be scary. So  if that's how you feel, check this out...

1. It assumes the joiners are 'new' people, i.e., total strangers to the group, so there's going to be awkwardness.
2. It forgets the reality that at one point, all of us currently in a healthy group were once new to it.
3. It assumes that the options for group types are either always open or always closed; nothing in between.
4. It assumes that the joiners are going to be a poor relational fit for the group. I.e., we won't get along.
5. By saying 'no' to new members, we're assuming there are other groups who'll take them. 

Let me deal with each of these in order:

1. New joiners need not be strangers. Assuming that you have other friends in the church, what if  some of they joined your group? I'm not saying our groups should be social cliques, but if the goal is deep, Christ-centered relationships (and it is) then why not start building on an existing foundation? If you have unconnected friends, your personal invitation might be the very thing that gets them connected. And because you already know them, it shouldn't be too hard to integrate them.
2. At one point, you were the newcomer. The group you joined, and the people you met there took a chance that you weren't going to wreck their sense of community. If we're not willing to take the same risk for someone else, what are we doing here? It seems to me that there's something worse than a brief period of awkwardness. It's being told "Our church is big on community, but there's no place for you in ours."
3. There's a third way. Your group could be 'open' for one part of the year, and 'closed' for the rest, in order to deepen those connections. So this year, with its three terms, maybe your group could stay open for two (or at least one) of those terms, and closed for the other(s). And then next year, you could be open for one, and closed for two. Since the majority of people looking to join a group will show up in September, that's the really crucial time to be open - after that it's not as critical.
4. People who decide to join a group based on its location and time don't tend to have as meaningful an  experience as those who join because of who is in the group. More than anything else - including schedule, location, and even study content - relational issues are the reason why a group works or flops. So when you say 'no' to the idea of new joiners, you might be assuming that another group will be a better relational fit for them. It may not be. It may be that the joiner's personality, sense of humor, passions, interests, etc., make them just right for your group. Maybe that's why they wanted to join your group in the first place. And if so, then you're not only doing them a disservice by being closed, but you're doing yourself a disservice too. 
5. There may not be. It's tricky to assume that the other group(s) will take the new joiners. If the other groups thought and felt that way, we'd all be sunk. My most significant growth as a Christian has happened through Growth Groups - it began a long time ago when I was new to a church, and a group welcomed me anyway. 

Community is risky. It always has been. But this isn't a choice between welcoming new folks and wrecking the relational depth of the community on the one hand, and being closed to new groups and having deep, healthy community on the other. There's always another way.